Reflecting on the General Elections 2015

Before I continue with this post, let me present a snapshot of how the 17th parliamentary general elections of Singapore went (forgive the subpar formatting):

Parties and alliances	Leader	Seats won	% of valid vote	% swing from last GE
People’s Action Party (PAP)	Lee Hsien Loong	83	69.86	+9.72
Workers’ Party (WP)	Low Thia Khiang	6	12.48	-0.34
Singapore Democratic Party (SDP)	Chee Soon Juan	0	3.76	-1.07
National Solidarity Party (NSP)	Sebastian Teo	0	3.53	-8.51
Reform Party (RP)	Kenneth Jeyaretnam	0	2.63	-1.65
Singaporeans First (SingFirst)	Tan Jee Say	0	2.25	(new party)
Singapore People’s Party (SPP)	Lina Chiam	0	2.17	-0.94
Singapore Democratic Alliance (SDA)	Desmond Lim	0	2.06	-0.72
People’s Power Party (PPP)	Goh Meng Seng	0	1.13	(new party)
Independents	N/A	0	0.12	N/A
Valid votes	2,257,016		97.95% of total votes cast
Invalid (blank or spoilt) votes	47,315		2.05% of total votes cast
Total votes cast	2,304,331		Voter turnout: 93.56% of eligible voters.
Did not vote	158,595		Total residents: 3,891,370
Eligible voters	2,462,926		Total population: 5,469,700

In 2011, I wrote a short piece about the general elections then and how it was a watershed one for the country, since the opposition were out in force and managed to win six seats. They gained another one in a by-election two years later. Buoyed by my own sense of idealism then, I spoilt my vote in protest against the ruling party, as well as to show my contempt for the opposition party that came to contest in my constituency.

Since then, a great many things have changed, not just within the political landscape, but also in myself. As with every other human being, my experiences during this intervening period have shaped my perspectives along a new path and in so doing, affected my actions as well.

As I have alluded to in my previous postings, I became involved in grassroots and community work. It all began out of curiosity, but I soon found myself getting sucked in deeper and deeper because of two reasons – I seldom say no to requests made of me, and when I commit I tend to want to see things to the end, and also because I’ve met a good bunch of people who were a great pleasure to work with; that made me feel like I was part of a team. In addition, we rallied around a leader who ran a pretty tight ship, the current Minister for Social and Family Development Tan Chuan-Jin. In the past 1.75 years, I have grown to like and respect this man, even if I am not sold completely on the party’s cause.

I had wanted to remain neutral, without ever choosing a party or sides to align myself to, because I wanted to maintain that seed of journalistic impartiality within myself. To simply watch the world go by (or burn), and report on its happenings. But because I began my adventure through MPS (Meet-the-People Sessions), which is actually a political activity, I found it increasingly difficult to do so. It does not help that in Singapore, the lines are blurred between the ruling party, the government, and this particular avenue of community service.

I am not going to talk about the wider implications of GE 2015 in general or analyse the results. Instead, this post is about what I’ve seen and done, opening yet another chapter in my political awakening.

Two posts back, I mentioned that I had agreed to do something related to politics. I agreed out of curiosity, as usual, jumping at the chance for a new experience. What was it? It was to help the PAP with it’s campaigning for Mr Tan.

Not wanting to show my support in public, I decided to work from behind the scenes. Our work was to monitor the online media space for the sentiments of netizens, and to engage in and shape discussion where necessary. Suddenly, all the lessons I learnt in university about astroturfing and such made a lot of sense. Compared to the last GE, this time all parties involved had an even greater presence than before. There were discussions, some much heated, by supporters from both sides of the line.The digital battlefield was every bit as big, if not bigger, than the physical one, and the contested space needed to be filled with messages aligned to our cause so as to push forward the agenda.

In so doing, I put aside my principles of detached neutrality, and got into the thick of things. It was interesting for the most part of it, and I did get carried away while still being myself – it was the seemingly the best of both worlds. I learnt once again that once someone is firmly entrenched in their beliefs, confirmation bias would set in and it would be difficult to convince someone otherwise even in the face of overwhelming evidence. Thus, the middle ground were the targets to be courted and I realised ultimately that one had to choose sides, especially in cases like this where the stakes were high, and the future of the nation was also up in the air. The middle ground, in a certain sense… were the pawns.

I believed, of course, that the other side were using similar tactics in an attempt to start conversations or level allegations against our side. I think I did see some signs of it online, but this is something I will never be able to confirm. What I found interesting was that a new way of commentary was taking traction this time. Instead of penning one’s thoughts per a normal Facebook comment, for example, people were posting pictures to make their point, be it a funny one (e.g. PM Lee and ESM Goh praying to the now-deceased Lee Kuan Yew), or ones with the relevant symbology that could be allow others to instantly identify his or her political leanings (e.g. a picture of Marvel Comics’ Thor, who wields a hammer -> implied to be WP supporter, since their logo is that of a hammer).

At the very last moment, I also volunteered to be a Polling Agent for Mr Tan because the Branch still needed people. Our role was to observe the electoral proceedings to make sure there were no foul play. At my station, though, I was left alone since my opposite numbers and my colleagues chose to sit together amongst themselves. Without anything to cross-check with, all I could do was stare and let my thoughts run free. I was incredibly restless an hour into the shift, yet I had to remain professional for the most of it. Mr Tan did drop by for a visit somewhere in the middle, though there wasn’t really anyone around at that time so he came and gone. At this point, I would like to acknowledge the civil servants and volunteers who were activated as Presiding Officers/Assistant Returning Officers to facilitate the entire process of this exercise in citizenship. Good job and rest well today, guys.

This experience was definitely an interesting one and an eye-opener for me. Like the movie villains who fall into the dark side after their initial taste of things (usually out of curiosity, too), I think I have subconscious floated closer and closer in terms of support for the PAP. While I am cognizant of the fact that much more needs to be done on their end in terms of communication, policy work and whatnot, I have seen the good work done for the people in the area where I serve.

Although Mr Tan does not represent me directly as an MP, I am glad that our efforts have paid off and that he can remain in service to the people for another term. This time round, the choice was clear for me.

General Elections 2011 [Archive Post]

Reposting this here from my other blog that I’ve had from 2005 – 2011:

Election fever

May 8, 2011, will be etched in the annals of Singapore history for it marked a watershed General Election, with a unprecedented 82 out of 87 seats contested, a younger electorate, ageing population, many issues contested, and for the first time, the massive (and generally clean) use of social media in campaigning.

Results-wise, it was even more… impactful. The opposition Workers’ Party have managed to capture a Group-Representation Constituency (Aljunied), or 5 seats, away from the ruling People’s Action Party. They have also retained their former stronghold of Hougang, which netted them one more seat. At the same time, veteran Member of Parliament Chiam See Tong has lost in his attempt to go for a GRC, and his wife has also lost the party its seat in Potong Pasir Single-Member Constituency. Tin Pei Ling, much flamed by netizens online, was elected to Parliament, and at the same time, we have lost a very capable Foreign Minister in George Yeo.

My feelings on this are truly mixed, so much to the point that I have become a tad blank in my head and heart. Certainly, the costs of this election has been heavy for more voices in Parliament, and perhaps the Westerners will see us as more accomodating in terms of human rights and media freedoms (hey, even the local media aired some dissenting views this time round) after this election. Whatever. But now, all parties know they need to work harder to build up their support base, and for those elected to Parliament, work together to serve the interests of all citizens. These are big words, but I sure hope it will happen.

And out on Facebook, I feel like I’ve been championing the spoilt vote option, running around to defend the stand against some of its detractors. Hmm… as much as it is an exercise in futility.

Else. It’s over now, we will wake up to a new reality tomorrow. And… life goes on. All the thoughts have evaporated from my mind. WATERSHED.

The future awaits.

In the blink of an eye, countless days, weeks and months flew by. It has been eight months since I left my previous position at The Office (FPL, for those who know what I’m talking about), and many things have happened since then. I’ve run through a rollercoaster of emotions, at times feeling happy, at times feeling superior, even cocky, but most of the time, I felt quite down in the dumps and rather impotent.

Why? I would attribute it to the search for employment, I guess. After a short break plus my involvement in a big grassroots event (One Community Day) at the beginning of this year, I began my search for a new job in earnest. I was full of hope – my qualifications weren’t shabby, and I had a brief stint in a pretty big place. Off I went, targeting mostly civil service jobs and the occasional private one that interested me. The days went by, with no replies. Soon after, I started widening my scope to not just what I did in uni + my previous vocation, and lowered my salary expectations. I asked my contacts for help, as did my dad and mom, who most graciously supported me to the best of their abilities during this trying time. But still, nothing much came around. I did get called up for interviews, but failed them. It was then I realised I was lacking in this aspect. The stint at The Office turned back to bite me as prospective employers seemed to make negative judgements based on my length of service, and perhaps not so much the work I did.

My unemployed friends soon found employment one after another, leaving me alone. And then my other employed friends having those dream jobs posting about their exploits on social media – well those hit me pretty hard. The proverbial nail in the coffin hit me sometime last month, where I was simultaneously rejected from two government positions that I thought I was well-qualified for, with one of them being the workplace of my dreams. I was utterly crushed, and sent out resumes to random places in desperation. Living every day without knowing when the journey would end sapped the life out of me. Apart from my commitments to grassroots work, my freelance job assignments and my family and friends, there was nothing to fill me. As with my previous life posts, I dug myself deeper into the bubble I had created around myself, and tuned out the outside world, with regards especially to the current affairs I so liked to follow from before.

Well, to cut the long story short, one of my personal efforts finally clicked and I will be starting work next month. I’m not quite sure about this next job, mostly because… I’m not quite sure what I want anymore. All I know it, I must do something to survive, and grow my skills where I can. I definitely hope I can stay in this position more than twice as long as my first job, before taking stock of my life and trying to chart out where I would go next. I would expect though, that I’d return to cherish those short gaming sessions I always had when I returned home from The Office. Break time’s over, boy!

The big question now for me is really, “WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE, AND WHERE DO I WANT TO GO ON FROM HERE?” Of course, the heart is still empty, but it’s always been, right? Mmm, not too sure about that one. On my volunteering experience – I find it ironic that the more I think to extricate myself, the deeper I end up sinking into. What started as a way to pass time last year (right around the birth of Codex Omnibus), broadening my horizons and getting in touch with the various happenings on the ground, social issues, etc., has turned into quite a big commitment for me, relatively speaking (Disclaimer: Not as big as the amount of time and effort the senior volunteers have put in). I’ve had two events under my belt, and helped out at the Branch for more than one-and-a-half years now. I just agreed to be involved with one more event, and have been bestowed with greater responsibilities for that one (how terrible!). And only a few hours before this post, I also agreed to help out with something I never thought I would do. It’s related to politics, which runs against my principle of staying neutral, but I wanted to learn more about publicity, running a campaign, and responding to the myriad discussions in the public sphere… and this… is a platform that is going to be quite interesting, I think. Or perhaps one hell of a ride. I’m feeling uneasy about  agreeing to do this, though it is in a role that doesn’t require me to be at the front. I hope I have the resolve to pull out of this one if the need arises – at least that’s what I’m telling myself.

Do I like helping out here, or do I just not like to reject others, and then do things out of obligation? I have no idea, you know. I mean, I do like the rush of happiness after each event is conducted and all, and regardless of allegiance, this is a rather valuable network… but I just keep sinking in deeper? I hope this latest commitment will be just that – a learning experience. I would rather not have to choose sides when the time comes, unless I am sure I firmly believe in the cause.

There’s all these concerns, and work too. The future awaits, indeed. S-steady as she goes?

Farewell, PM, SM, MM Lee, for the last time. 一路走好！

(Above image courtesy of Facebook user Pok Pok & Away)

29 March 2015: 7 days after his passing, the man who was at Singapore’s reins during her formative years was finally laid to rest (at the private cremation ceremony, which will probably take place in another hour so from the time I started this post).

The live telecast of his state funeral has just ended. Many dramatic and poignant images were captured by the cameras, as hundreds of thousands lined the streets along the route in which his cortege passed by, from Parliament House (where his body was lying in state) to the National University of Singapore’s University Cultural Centre (UCC) for the State Funeral Service. In the hours leading up to the start of the whole ceremony, and for most of it, it rained, at times rather heavily. It seemed as though the heavens itself was grieving at the passing of a great man. Strangely, it cleared up just as the last eulogies were delivered at the UCC. Despite being an agnostic-atheist, sometimes I wonder if occasions like this are more than just pure coincidence.

During the funeral, our citizen soldiers performed flawlessly – the well-rehearsed honour guard, the coffin-bearers, the artillerymen manning the ceremonial 25-pounders… not to mention the pilots who pulled off a Missing Man manoevure (though there was no media footage due to the bad weather), and our seamen, who saluted him with a sailpast off our southern coast. Oh, and not forgetting the police officers, and the men and women of the Civil Defence Force – although Mr Lee was not a military man, this was a ceremony fitting for someone who had worked so hard over the years to help build the country. Helmed by the armed services that he saw was a necessity to maintain our sovereignty, I’d say he deserved nothing less.

Such an outpouring of grief on a national scale is without precedent. As a Chinese saying goes, 前无古人，后无来者。There was none like him, and no one will probably come close in the next few decades to come. Singaporeans from all walks of life, and even foreigners, who deeply respected Mr Lee, turned out in droves today. Nearly 1.5 million (including double-counts, I’m sure) went and paid their final respects to him over the past four days, and many fitting tributes have been written over the past few days as well. Today, the eulogies gave intimate little details of how Mr Lee was as a father, the leader of Cabinet, union representative, and such during his life. Some were more engaging than others, but they all sought to paint the image of a caring man who shielded his family from the media glare, a hard taskmaster and a pragmatic man who also fiercely defended his ideals.

For a military enthusiast like me, stuff like bugle calls and bagpipes always get me. On Wednesday, when his cortege came to Parliament House, it was the bagpipe rendition of Auld Lang Syne. Today, it was The Last Post. *sighs* But, like playing The Rouse after The Last Post signifies, those of us still living must continue waking up, for life goes on. Amidst all this thoughts, feelings and emotions though, one thing is for sure: Mr Lee’s passing, united Singaporeans into a cohesive whole for once, though I think it’ll likely go back to the same in the days to come. There have been emotionally-charged statements, and those made by clear minds – here’s hoping that the level-headed ones prevail in the coming days.

Looking back, the past four days have also seen an upswelling, and proper demonstration of the Singapore Spirit. Our leaders had been hoping for a revival of the “kampong spirit” of old, but I feel that we transcended that during this period. I say this based on my personal experiences on the ground. On Thursday, I joined the queue at the Padang so I could pay my respects to Mr Lee. It certainly moved around in an orderly manner, and I did not notice people cutting queue. Newcomers who didn’t know where to start asked those of us in the queue kindly for directions, which was provided. Everyone shuffled along, although they did surge at certain points, for some weird reason.

We had volunteers tirelessly handing out water, biscuits and umbrellas. Soft apologies were made when we accidentally bumped into each other with our sweaty limbs. Near Cavenagh Bridge, someone was distributing other foodstuff (more biscuits, I saw, but different from the NTUC ones that were making the rounds at the Padang), and those closer to the biscuits started grabbing them… and passing it along the crowd to people who were out of reach. What touched me the most was when I made it past the bridge and was outside the Asian Civilisations Museum. Heard shouts from the back. Someone beside me thought it was “Mr Lee, Mr Lee”, coming from the river, but as the shouts grew louder, we realised it was “Medic! Medic!”. Apparently someone behind collapsed, probably due to the strain of being trapped in such a huge, moving mass of people. There was confusion at first, but a loud voice behind took charge. “Everyone echo ‘medic’!” he said. At that instant, we all did so in unison, and a couple of police officers appeared soon after to assess the situation.

I covered my journey to pay respects to Mr Lee on my Instagram account, @duckrain02. So most of what I observed is there as well. Though I was in Parliament House for all of a minute, (or two) bowing and saluting him, I realised it was what I saw during the entire journey that mattered more. Little things like the above gave me some faith, faith in the humanity of Singaporeans as a whole, and faith that country has what it takes to last in times of adversity.

Majulah Singapura!

I end this post with two images from the telecast of the funeral service, sourced from the live coverage from MediaCorp and the Straits Times respectively.

A soldier, standing alongside his compatriots in the rain, forming a line of honour for Mr Lee Kuan Yew.

His cortege passing through Kampong Bahru Road. The shophouses in the middleground of the picture and the towering skyscrapers/modern housing in the background provide a comparison of Singapore’s past and present.

 

A nation grieves: My humble POV; a choice collection of words

Rest in Peace, Mr Lee Kuan Yew GCMG CH, 16 September 1923 – 23 March 2015

The news came in in the wee hours of the morning. Mr Lee Kuan Yew, widely regarded as the father of modern Singapore, passed away due to complications from pneumonia. An infection in mid-March, while he was on life support, weakened him day by day until the inevitable.

What was I doing then? At 3.18am, I was fighting a Golden Rathian in the game Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate, scrabbling with the controls on my Nintendo 3DS handheld console. Pretty mundane stuff, hardly amusing or special or whatever. It was only at 5am when I stopped to take a look at my laptop, and saw the first shares on social media start to stream in with the timestamps dated back an hour ago. My immediate reaction was, “Oh well,” something that I shared on Facebook immediately.

I guess it wasn’t such a big shock to me after all, given his advanced age and generally failing health (not turning up for major constituency events, less public appearances, etc.). For many Singaporeans too, probably. But the collective denial, as I call it, of a nation, wishing the best for a great man and hoping he would make it through, was nothing short of amazing. I’d never thought I’d see this moment – for once, the heart of nearly all Singaporeans beat as one in remembrance of a great statesman. The news of his passing is a indeed seminal moment in Singapore’s history, which has largely been peaceful and trouble-free since independence.

Many other things amazed me in the past 12 hours or so, which I will describe further on in the post. It’s definitely a shame that he couldn’t live all the way to see the nation he so painstakingly built celebrate her 50th birthday, but then again, he’s probably had a really good run in this life.

At long last, news outlets around the world could announce his passing safely, without ridicule (here’s looking at you, CNN and CCTV News!). Their pre-packaged stories and segments on Mr Lee could now be broadcast and sent to print, no problems. As a media student, I’m supposed to know just how well-oiled OUR own state-run machinery is. But the information that came out in the next hour or so amazed me again with how smooth it all went.

Boom, came the media releases. Info on a week of mourning. When citizens can go to pay respects to him. Initial details of the state funeral and wake. Prime Minister addressing the country at 8am… and then the tributes from our main media outlets, etc. Special print editions of the daily broadsheet and tabloids were available at 12pm (tracing back, delivery ~2 hours, printing ~ 1 hour, sending for print should be at around 8am?) Our radio and TV stations have been on interrupted programming since then, playing sad music, their logos shrouded in a shade of grey/black… I’m supposed not to be fazed by this, but the realisation of it all, and seeing it in action, still made me gape.

As the morning went by, people started to change their Facebook cover/profile pictures in mourning Mr Lee’s passing. Even WeChat, the Chinese-developed social messaging app, sent a message of condolence to all its (Singapore-based, I’m assuming) users. On TV, many people who were interviewed shed tears of sadness. Some of my friends, too. Me? I don’t know. I’m not sad, neither am I overjoyed. There’s just this heavy sinking feeling in my heart, akin to what I usually feel when some major character in an anime that I’ve been following dies or something.

My newsfeeds continue to fill with messages of tribute, condolence, and news updates about event cancellations, so on and so forth. I’m pretty sure that physical tributes have also been flowing non-stop; according to the 1pm news bulletin, the slots for condolence cards outside the Istana were filled within four hours.

Now the respect such a man commanded is really beyond measure. Mr Lee was a rare breed, I’d say. A no-nonsense, no-holds-barred man who had a vision for Singapore, and dared to take charge. His efforts, along with that of the Old Guard, the first generation of Cabinet ministers, were what took Singapore on this journey, the oft-repeated “from third world to first”. A quick read of the tributes/obituaries on The New York Times and BBC, for example, would give one an idea of his achievements, of how his team and himself (I always stress that it is a team effort) ensured that our fathers and grandfathers had proper homes, sanitation, water, education and jobs. Essentially, fulfilling all of Maslow’s basic needs. Which is why people of my generation can then exist. In all journalistic fairness and balance, one must consider his less-than-perfect image, as well. Western media sources tend to like to pick on his ruthlessness, and the sacrifice of personal liberties, as well as that of the media, when it comes to this. Apart from acknowledging all these, there’s also his elitist worldview that one might need to contend with.

Personally? I have a whole lot of respect and admiration for this man. While I only learned about the good stuff in my teen years, I came to know more about his ‘darker’ side as I entered university, what with the freedom of access to alternative points of view. Despite this, I still feel that his foresight and vision for the nation, his ability to take charge – all of these were crucial factors in leading up to the Singapore we all live in today. Looking back, he certainly did make/have an impact on some unpopular decisions, but to a certain extent, one can attribute it to the necessity of the times. But to say that he was merely reacting to the situation isn’t right at all. Circumstances make the heroes out of men, but here is one man who also made the circumstances. He was THE man who led his merry band of brothers into building up a Singapore that was dependent on the British for everything into an independent, sovereign nation.

So what about his “faults”, and how do I reconcile myself with those? Off the top of my head, Mr Lee was responsible for some policies, and had values that I disagree with. For example, the stamping out of dialects in an effort to promote better use of English and Mandarin, which was the cost of making Singapore economically competitive, and his nods towards elitism (and eugenics?) which resulted in things like the Graduate Mothers’ Scheme… with some shades of it in the bureaucracy today, too (please correct me if I am mistaken). But every decision, good or bad, has a cost to it. Paraphrasing the words of a source I encountered online, why continue to look to the past in hatred, when we should look to the future, and apply the lessons learnt from the past?

For some things, I can only hope lessons will be learnt. For others, measures to rectify the damage wrought in the past have already begun taking place. Hospitals, for instance, are sending healthcare staff for courses in local vernacular so that they can understand the elderly better, since they are more conversant in those rather than the English and/or Mandarin that was implemented after their formative years. Without him, however, is not the end. We must to move forward and continue to prosper on our own, and to carry on building a nation that would make Papa proud.

I sincerely hope that above doesn’t make me sound like an ungrateful prude. In the end, the reason I am able to sit here in my home, and post this, can be linked to him in many ways. To sum it all up, my emotional journey was thus – apathy -> a state of calm -> amazement -> emptiness of heart. As I come privy to more information and anthologies of the great statesman that was Lee Kuan Yew, my opinions of him may have a nuanced improvement, or not. I am keeping an open mind, but I feel whatever it is, I will continue playing devil’s advocate in my mind’s eye – one must see the full picture instead of ‘only hearing the good stuff’. Yep, he’s a really jolly good fellow, but one must never go down the slippery slope of whitewashing his less palatable deeds (which, isn’t a whole lot anyway. I mean, he ultimately had Singapore’s interests at the forefront of his thoughts). If I may be allowed to put this out, Mr Lee probably wouldn’t want this (the whitewashing) to happen anyway.

Thus ends my attempt at eulogising him and trying to pen down the thoughts of the moment before I lose them. I have included the video of Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong’s announcement at 8am today of his father’s passing. It is actually a very sad moment, and twice he had to pause to regain his composure. The pain of having to tell the whole nation that you have lost a loved one, who was also greatly loved by his people, is nothing short of unimaginable. See below 😦 –

I have also collected some articles and quotes from various sources, which I found poignant.

“We won’t see another man like him. To many Singaporeans, and indeed others too, Lee Kuan Yew was Singapore.” – PM Lee Hsien Loong

“Hated as a tyrant, adored as a saviour of the nation. In truth, these extreme positions are neither accurate nor adequate. Lee, for all the pop-cultural-like portrayals of him, is human. As a politician, few would see his parallel, particularly for his ruthlessness. As an administrator, we marvel at his efficiency and doggedness. But as a human, we have to criticise his lack of vision for a Singapore that must go beyond his time and beliefs.

It is in this light that I have chosen to see Lee Kuan Yew: A patriot who has dedicated much of his life to our lives – for which we should be grateful – but at times not in the best interest of us or the nation – for which we need to apply a generous dosage of humility to the public service and our leadership, if we want Singapore to live beyond him.” – Howard Lee, for The Online Citizen (http://www.theonlinecitizen.com/2015/03/lee-kuan-yew-people-policies-and-the-politics-of-life/)

“Credit him for spearheading the policies that turned Singapore from third world to first world. That took leadership, grit, guts, daring, cunning, showmanship, political acumen, smarts and sheer hard work.  These are all exceptional qualities that Mr Lee possessed an abundance of and Singaporeans have both benefited or fell foul of these same qualities depending on which side of the political fence one fell on.

But at the same time, Mr Lee was not someone to trifle with. He is not known for mercy, compromise or the middle way – it is his way or the highway (and sometimes, even detention without trial). In our rush to commemorate him, we must not forget that like any other man, he had his faults – and sometimes one’s best qualities are also one’s worst shortcomings.” – “Ghui”, for The Online Citizen (http://www.theonlinecitizen.com/2015/03/civil-and-political-rights-after-lee-kuan-yew/)

Brief timeline of reactions to Mr Lee’s passing – http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-32012879

“And as a nation mourns in some relative comfort today, we worry about a future without him, we chafe at the restrictions he instituted, and we fail to realise how much more we can continue to build on his legacy if we worked together.

The last time Singapore worried about its future in this manner was half a century ago, when we were kicked out of Malaysia to become a newly independent state. Lee Kuan Yew seized that moment to make us prosperous.” – Ng Yi Shu, for Mothership.sg (http://mothership.sg/2015/03/a-millennials-perspective-on-lee-kuan-yew/)

A well-written, if negative, look at what Mr Lee did for Singapore –http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/mar/22/lee-kuan-yew?CMP=share_btn_fb

Some admiration and thinly-veiled criticism, especially from the POV of a media practitioner – http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/03/lee-kuan-yew/388397/?utm_source=btn-facebook-pin 

The most interesting criticism yet, linking Mr Lee’s legacy to implications on the world stage. Tyranny in Russia and Eastern Europe – http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2015/03/lee-kuan-yew-legacy-116317.html#.VRJByTuUcvP 

*this post has been updated on 25 March 2015 to better reflect my thoughts, along with new material that has come up over the past two days.

Day 119: A False Peace （偽りの平和）

I guess I couldn’t resist venting my frustrations once again just shortly after my last post. Life at The Office entered a new phase in the past week, with me being fully assigned to assist my assistant manager with his projects rather than working on what I was initially given (and I managed to close one largely on my own, along the way). What this means is less reprimands, or if they happen, I seem to be able to take it better. I’m being lured into a sense of tranquility and a “hey, I could get used to this!” mindset. I certainly can, I guess… but eventually I’ll still need to face the one true Ringleader… and I cannot foresee coming out of it unscathed.

At which point is the hurt and fear not worth the learning experience any more? I don’t know. And I’ve a good 40 years ahead of me to continue being more than a mere producing-consuming animal…

On other things, my will to perform anything out of the routine seems to be sapped away bit by bit, every day… I’ve started to dislike hanging out on weeknights, all so I can go home, get a game in, and then fall asleep. It isn’t healthy but what else is there to do? In this here country? I don’t know. Few things seem to interest me anymore, and I’m (again) putting things away just so I can sit around and be a media/game (singular) junkie. Well, at least I’m writing this blog post, ne? (very nearly put it away, too!)

In summary, I’ve got to fix myself somewhat and change. I still can’t seem to accept that the days of nua-ing are now over. I’ve got to get up on my feet and embrace life (wow, such big words… they ring hollow). What have I been from birth up until this point? Something to ponder in my next post, perhaps.

P.S.: I missed the Waseda Shibuya Senior High School Festival (Seiransai) this time, ‘cos I forgot it was on till it was too late. I definitely need to satisfy my curiosity about what these school festivals are actually like. Next year’s Natsu Matsuri, anyone?

Anime Festival Asia is the next big event and I better not miss this. RAWR! Oh, and I owe myself a post about ALS since I was nominated twice.

Coming out of hiatus (but going back in again); A morose monologue

It’s been four months (plus a few days!) since I last posted. This blog was originally meant to mark my return to some semblance of regular writing, about the things that interested me and maybe some snapshot of my life, but I guess it all fell by the wayside when I stepped into my first job.

I haven’t been exactly happy at it for a variety of reasons, full details of which I shan’t disclose in this post. A part of it stems from my internal desire to reach high standards – if I may be allowed to say so, I am somewhat of a perfectionist. When I don’t meet the demands set of me and I get reprimanded, it hits me harder than it should. Another part is perhaps the capability gap between my skills and the job requirement; also my naivete at the way things work in society. I’ve gotten a rude awakening, but as it stands now, I still seem to be floundering my way through things. Whatever it is, I have been miserable for about two-thirds of the time I’ve been with my company, and I dread going to work each week.

I’ve been pulling some crazy hours and weekends, at the cost of my social life/life experiences/hobbies. Of course, I also procrastinate, so it is also partly my fault. The Singapore Toy, Game and Comics Convention was on over the weekend but I chose not to go because “I wanted to stay at home and do some work”. Yup, I did the research writing I was supposed to, but I gamed for the most of the day (today). If I had gotten off my ass to go, perhaps I’d have seen some interesting things or met up with my cosplaying/costuming friends, the cost of the ticket notwithstanding. Gaming was good of course, but in a stale world that never changes – it feels like I’m back in my hikikomori days (on a side note, meeting my uni friends on Saturday for some gaming while having a sinus attack was good, if terrible on my health).

My cosplaying is also on hold because I need to raise my standards (lazy to make the effort, really), and also my main gear has been damaged beyond repair and I need a replacement. I seem to have lost the drive for it and the only thing I’m repeating each day is work, get scolded, come home, play the same games, grind, and sleep. If I want to play something, perhaps in a persistent world that offers changes somewhat? (Am I letting Sword Art Online creep into my conscious?)

I want to go take a look at the Sports Hub too. With a companion maybe. Need to find the time and proper motivation to do it. And now that my model kits are in, I must purchase the equipment I need to build them.

And there’s this thing about the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge which I want to write about.

Ah, so many things, so little drive. External circumstances being a downer is one thing, but the inner motivation to do things is actually lacking. I’ve lost sight of everything, including my next step. I want out of that place, but not sure where to next. If only I could just sit around and slack all day – then again I’d rot.

This internal struggle plays out everyday and I haven’t been winning, just getting things done at my pace (I wish no one can dictate that!).

“Meh” is the word.

Let’s get things started.

Well, you ain’t gonna get anything fanciful from me yet, but hey, a start is a start all the same, non?

It’s been more than two months into 2014, and also the third month since I returned to Singapore on 8 December, or “Riot Day” as I like to call it. In this post, I would like to take the opportunity to have a quick run-through of whatever happened to me in 2013, and reflect upon some of my actions (I will probably digress along the way). Now I know people generally tend to run their reflection posts right at the end of 2013, but given that I finally got off my ass to set up Codex: Omnibus this month, I’m sure all you guys out there can cut me some slack, right? Right? *puppydog eyes, pleading*

Anyway, I began 2013 by plunging into the paperwork needed for my application into the Honours programme at university. I had to think of a topic for my thesis, do up the proposal, send in the application, et cetera… all that took a little longer than expected, since I had to send in my documents from Singapore – though thankfully, some flexibility was allowed in that I could scan some signed documents and email it to the school instead of posting them out via snail mail. I returned to Australia mid-February, but didn’t get my visa approved until after March. The administrative staff had mistakenly processed my application as a local, and not an international student, which led to me being unable to even begin to apply for a new student visa then. Thankfully, I found that out with a call to the office, and it was smooth-sailing after that.

For the rest of the year, I plunged into doing stuff for my thesis. All of us Honours students (and some Masters and PhD candidates) had to attend theory lessons in the first semester, that covered the philosophies of academic research – namely stuff like ontology, epistemology, and so on. In the process, I also made presentations on my thesis in front of the academic faculty, handed in some essays… these went swimmingly well and gave me quite the solid foundation, grades-wise, towards the final mark. Class time, however, was rather limited and I saw and interacted with my classmates pretty much for only about three hours each week, and these tended to be the people whom I ended up sitting with most of the time – Sam, a friendly and outgoing guy who was really interested in India, Phoebe, a pretty young lass who also juggled some work outside of Honours, and Ben, a personal trainer who’s coming back to school after some years out in the working world. Apart from this and some Twitter conversations, I wish I’d had more time to hang out with my classmates, but then our classes are all evening ones, and people need to get home after that… so no opportunities on that end.

The rest of the time was spent doing work (at the last minute!), research, and meeting up with my supervisors, Dr. Janet Fulton and Mr Paul Scott, for revisions to drafts, and discussions on progress. Janet and Paul have been really supportive of me all year long, even with their other Honours students, and I felt really honoured to be able to work under their supervision, though I do feel guilty even today for submitting work for review towards the end of my deadlines, and feeling like I haven’t given them anything in return. Well the “problem” has to do with my adaptation to the Honours year here, where many of the deadlines are self-imposed. I reaallyy have issues with that, and tend to become really productive only when the deadline looms. It seems like inspiration to write/bang letters onto the keyboard in search engines only finds me when I’m near the edge… ugh.

Perhaps my eventual result of a Two (One) (short form for what is essentially Second Upper honours) is truly what I deserved. I really did pray that I would get a First Class; it would have topped off a very awesome university education that I had, but unfortunately that would not be the case. I was a little dejected at first, but, after reading my examiners’ reports, I am humbled. Or, in Mandarin, 心服口服了。Still, the one year’s worth of guided research that I had done gave me a taste of just what happens in the world of academia, so it is a rather valuable experience all the same. On top of this, I got to present my thesis at a conference in Queensland, and hobnob with some veteran academics, including the authors of textbooks that I’ve used during university, which was also an enriching experience. “This is how conferences can be,” I remember myself thinking, though Janet and Paul did remind me that there were also the large-scale, super-serious ones out there. I ran out of time on my maiden presentation, and fumbled up with the last bit, but received favourable commentary on my technique (from my university lecturers who went), and also criticism on my content from a guru of comparative journalism whose works I used extensively throughout my thesis. So yes, silver lining there.

On the personal side of things, I did most of my socialising through the Singapore Association (SAUN) in my capacity as President, and getting to know people staying both on and off campus, both Singaporeans, as well as other nationalities. Personally, I don’t think I did as much as I wanted to, and there were times I isolated myself from the rest of the world (and as a result, felt isolated sometimes) due to work, play, sloth, business, or other extenuating circumstances.

Out here in Newcastle, far (somewhat) from the major city of Sydney, it does feel like the 60-odd of us are a close-knit community minding our own business. And heading the community made me draw an analogy between my position and that of a small-time politician in a, say, Western-centric democracy. You’ve got to account for things, and communicate with the central government, who are also glad to assist you, and then you need to manage people and run events over here, and take care of your “flock” somewhat.

The job, like heading the PSB Academy Student Council before, is somewhat thankless (not talking about institutional recognition here), and I know we cannot please everyone. It’s more of a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” kind of thing, perhaps. But our work still needs to go on, for I feel overseas students always need a sort of “home community” as a form of support and a springboard from which they can dive into the foreign world that they have just found themselves in. For SAUN, we had a whole boatload of activities last year, practically once every month, and celebrated some festivals, even (unfortnately, largely Chinese-centric -> I feel I must somehow apologise for not taking into account the needs of our brethren from the other races). Our activities, however, were largely based within university – I do hope that the successive committees can plan more outings or events at places beyond our immediate surroundings. 🙂 At this point I would like to clarify that I am not whining about anything – It is a challenge that I saw myself taking on, I had an awesome team, and, like my time in PSB Academy, the two years in the Singapore community in Newcastle were, by and large, fulfilling.

How about love? No. Never any luck with that, dalliances not counted. I did have my eyes on a certain Japanese girl in the second half of the year, but I did not make any moves, because I felt that it would not have worked out beyond the end of 2013. Nothing special here, really, at least nothing that I would want to confess in this paragraph in a public space.

To sum it up, 2013 was a year that I spent navel-gazing, and learning about a different world on my own. There’s of course a lot of nitty-gritty details in there, and things in the other categories that I have devised for this blog, but would make my post too long even for me to keep on writing. While perhaps not the best thing to do (did I make use of my years in university properly, I wonder?), it is the path I have so treaded, and with that, I cap off my 16 years in the education system. Ohmigosh, I’m going to have to enter society! Aack.

Welcome back to the blogosphere, me!

It has been roughly 2 years and 8 months since I last made a post at length on a blog, my previous blog (Disjointed Musings | Fractured Ramblings), about the 2011 General Elections in Singapore. In this intervening time period, I have taken to exploring other social media platforms such as Twitter (widget is on this page), Instagram, as well as playing around with LinkedIn and SlideShare.

Anywho, after a length period of procrastination (months, from when I first floated the idea to restart!), I have decided to return to the blogosphere, maybe for good, and maybe not. I’ve decided to switch platforms from Blogger to WordPress, though I’m still in the midst of figuring out how things work here. I’m not a theme-sassy person so that is probably the last thing I will mess with.

Just a quick introduction: My name is JY, and I’m a Singaporean. This space will, stylistically, be somewhat similar to what I’ve done in the past, namely: Rants/thoughts about life events and perhaps some coverage of the anime that I have watched/am watching. The slight twist to this will come from commentary on my pet topics of defence and military technology, with the occasional aside on media, pop culture and social issues. Essentially what I’ve summarised right at the top of this blog, if you’d bothered to look. 🙂 I will have to find a way to organise these posts, failing which, I will use tags to categorise them.

Else, I warmly welcome myself back to this world that I once abandoned and I hope, for the benefit of my readers out there, that I will produce better pieces of writing in the days to come. I will strive to take up the challenge of becoming a local defence blog (somewhat), laid down by David Boey, a Singaporean blogger and former defence writer, who is also someone I admire. Anime-wise, I find the blog Random Curiosity to be a good model to learn from. Either way, it feels weird monologuing to myself out here, so I will perhaps end off my very first post here.

Till the next time!